Biculturalism: the Hidden Challenge

"Identity is not to be found in having roots; it is in having routes." - James Baldwin

Hi, my name is Heba. I was raised in Canada and I am Lebanese. Note that I said "and" (not "but").

That's because I feel like I am both Lebanese and Canadian. There are certain convictions I have adopted from both cultures that have built me as a person. I don't know if I can say that I am fully Canadian nor fully Lebanese. I feel like an outsider to Canadians while also feeling like I don't fully fit in when I'm among the Lebanese! If you are an immigrant or an expat - any person living or being raised abroad - you might relate to this somehow. You might feel like there are parts of each culture that you appreciate and other parts that you.... well, don't. That makes you wonder: What am I?

Can I really belong to both cultures if only parts of each culture "fits" me?

Do I have to belong to only one culture?

If I do belong to two cultures, do I get to pick what I want to adopt and/or abandon from each one?

So, let's talk about it; this is the hidden challenge of biculturalism.

If you are like me, then you are like millions of others around the world that have been raised in a country foreign to their native one. You can convince yourself that the new country has "just" taught you a new language, but in my opinion, we cannot learn a language in a new country without being touched by its culture somehow (you can quote me on this😉). You start seeing the world in a different lens, like a colored piece of glass you place in front of your eye. It helps you perceive the world slightly differently than the way you have been brought up to.

The beauty of being bicultural, is that you can choose to put that lens on or take it off. You can see that certain things are prettier or more "you" through that lens, while others are better left as they were taught to you. You create your own perspective, your own view on different facets of life.

So, being bicultural does not necessarily mean that you embrace everything from each culture. It means that you see parts of yourself better represented in different parts of each culture. This builds us to becoming more flexible, more open-minded, more easy-going.

On the other hand, being bicultural also means that you do not fully belong to only one culture nor to both, and that can become confusing. You start doubting your sense of belonging to your roots and to the "new world" you are in. This can push you to focus on what is missing for you to feel like you fit in; BUT you have so many more advantages to being bicultural! You have the advantage of being more objective toward what you have been taught and how you have been raised. You can better determine what makes sense to your well-being while keeping in mind the essence of your culture and up-bringing. You can better determine what generational mistakes can be avoided and which traditions are precious enough to maintain. You can create a better version of the culture you are most in touch with. You can better focus on your individuality and by extension, better determine the type of parent you want to become.

This brings us to the topic of raising bicultural children. It can be scary (it was for my parents!) but I will share with you a few tips that can help ease your hearts and embrace the beauty of biculturalism in your family's unique way.

More about this soon...